Stay close by my side Keep your eyes on me Though this life is hard I wlil give you perfect peace
In this time of trial Pain that no one sees Trust me when I say I will give you perfect peace
And you'll never walk alone And you'll never be in need Though I may not calm the storms around you You can hide in me Burdens that you bear Offer no relief Let me bear your load Cause I will give you perfect peace Stay close by my side And you'll never walk alone Keep your eyes on me And you will never be in need Though this life is hard Know that I will always give you perfect peace I will give you perfect peace
Provided I pass my exams (which I'm now cramming :p), my next year's posting in Melbourne would be: 1. Cardiothoracic surgery and neurosurgery in Alfred Hospital, Prahran. 2. Aged care and rehabilitation in Dandenong.
Scenario 1 (Nephrotic syndrome): Mr Azman, father of a 7-year old boy (Ali) took leave to accompany his son for his 5th hospital admission this year due to a swollen face. What happened: *enters room, greets Dr Paul (examiner)* Me: Hi, good morning (even though it's afternoon) Mr Azman (simulated patient), my name is Gary and I'm your doctor for today. I understand that you brought your son Ali for admission today, right? Is it possible for me to get you to leave the examination room now? This is to ensure confidentiality as I talk to Ali *turns towards Dr Lai who happened to be sitting in* Dr Lai: *horrified look* No no no, I'm not Ali. You are supposed to talk to Ali's father. Me: Oh. *swt* Addendum: Scenario 2 (Emergency contraception): Patient (speaking very fast): Hi, I'm very nervous coz last nite we had a party, and everything kinda got a bit wild and I ended up sleeping with this guy I met at the party.. i just don't want to get pregnant doctor.. how ar? Me: Ok, first I would like to ask u a few questions 1st is that ok?.. let's see, So, let me just confirm, last night you had sex with a guy whom you did not know? *silence as patient and examiner gave me that horrified look - there goes your mark for rapport as my friend put it*
Currently listening: Phillips, Craig and Dean - When God ran
1. My IVDU patient with HIV is due for pre-HAART counseling soon.. bumped into him as he was playing with his beautiful young daughter (she's probably 4-5 years old) outside the wards. Can see her pacing up and down the corridor, dancing around the visitor's benches..
2. Have not studied for mock OSCE (what more the real one). Need to get my psychiatry log book done soon. And my handwriting is getting more horrible *swt* :p
3. As she stood in front of her 5th grade class, she told her children an untruth. Like most teachers, she looked at the children, and told them that she loved them all the same. However, that was impossible, because there in the front row slumped in his seat was a little boy named Teddy Stallard.
Miss Thompson had watched Teddy the year before and noticed that he didn't play well with the other children, that his clothes were messy, and that he constantly needed a bath. And Teddy can be unpleasant. It got to the point where Miss Thompson would actually take delight in marking his papers with a broad red pen, making bold X's and then putting a big 'F' at the top of his papers.
At the school where Miss Thompson taught, she was required to review each child's past records, and she put Teddy's off until the last. However, when she reviewed his file, she was in for a surprise. Teddy's 1st grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is a bright child with a ready laugh. He does his work neatly and has good manners. He is such a joy to be around." His 2nd grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is an excellent student, well-liked by his classmates, but he is troubled because his mother has a terminal illness, and life at home must be a struggle." His 3rd grade teacher wrote, "His mother's death has been hard on him. He tries to do his best, but his father doesn't show much interest, and his home life will soon affect him if some steps aren't taken." Teddy's 4th grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is withdrawn, and doesn't show much interest in school. He doesn't have many friends, and he sometimes sleeps in class."
By now, Miss Thompson realised the problem, and she was ashamed of herself. She felt even worse when her students brought her Christmas presents, wrapped in beautiful ribbons and bright paper, except for Teddy's. His present was clumsily wrapped in the heavy brown paper he got from a grocery bag. Miss Thompson took pains to open it in the middle of the other presents. Some of the students started to laugh when she found a rhinestone bracelet with some of the stones missing, and a bottle that was one-quarter full of perfume. But she stifled the children's laughter when she exclaimed how pretty the bracelet was, putting it on, and dabbing some of the perfume on her wrist. Teddy Stallard stayed after school that day just long enough to say, "Miss Thompson, today you smell just like my mum used to."
After the children left, she cried for at least an hour. On that very day, she quit teaching reading, writing and arithmetic. Instead, she began to teach children. Miss Thompson paid particular attention to Teddy. As she worked with him, his mind began to come alive. The more she encouraged him, the faster he responded. By the end of the year, Teddy had become one of the smartest children in the class, and despite her lie that she would love all the children the same, Teddy became one of her 'teacher's pets'.
A year later, she found a note under her door from Teddy, telling her that she was the best teacher he'd ever had in his whole life! Six years went by before she got another note from Teddy. He then wrote that he had finished high school 3rd in his class, and she was still the best teacher he ever had in his whole life. 4 years after that, she got another letter, saying that while things had been tough at times, he'd stay in school. He'd stuck with it, and would soon graduate from college with the highest of honours. Again he assured Miss Thompson that she was still the best and favourite teacher he'd ever had. Then, 4 more years passed, and yet another letter came. After he got his bachelor's degree, he had decided to go a little further. She was still the best and favourite teacher he'd ever had. But now, his name was a little longer.. the letter was signed 'Theodore F. Stallard, M.D.'
The story does not end here. There was yet another letter that spring. Teddy said he's met this girl and was going to be married. He explained that his father had died a couple of years ago, and he was wondering if Miss Thompson might agree to sit at the wedding in the place that was usually reserved for the mother of the groom. Of course, Miss Thompson did. And guess what? She wore that bracelet, the one with several rhinestones missing. And she made sure she was wearing the perfume that Teddy remembered his mother wearing on their last Christmas together. They hugged each other, and Dr Stallard whispered into Miss Thompson's ear, "Thank you for believing in me. Thank you so much for making me feel important, and showing me that I could make a difference." Miss Thompson, with tears in her eyes whispered back, "Teddy, you have it all wrong. You were the one who taught me that I could make a difference. I didn't know how to teach until I met you!"
You can never tell what type of impact you may have on another's life by your actions, or lack of action.
Adapted from: Three Letters from Teddy by Elizabeth Silance Ballard
Of late night patient hunts,festival of light and gifted hands
1. Was planning to clerk an IVDU patient who is under psychiatric evaluation for my log book. Patient went out for a walk. Guess I'll come back tomorrow, since it's already 10.30pm. Update: Had a chat with the patient,nice guy whom was actually married with 4 children - he did shared about his life as a former drug addict for 10 years, sleeping by the drains for months and being in-and-out of jail for years - which was why he did not get to see his daughter when she was born until she was 2 years old. Despite this, his wife stood by him for the past 15 years. He was admitted for splenomegaly, pain on his back and ribs, and there was a heart murmur. The diagnosis on the chart mentioned infective endocarditis, with vegetation on the aortic valve, and he is on antibiotics. Last week, test results came back that he was HIV positive, but his CD4 has yet to hit <200. I asked him indirectly whether he had any medical illness, but he said no - either he knew and preferred not to talk about it, or nobody has informed him of his condition..
2. Happy Deepavali, and have a wonderful long weekend :-)
3. Benjamin Carson starts out life with everything against him: an African American child from a single parent home with failing grades at school, ridiculed by others, glued to the television screen, and in need of glasses. But his mother, who dropped out in the third grade, experienced financial struggles, and at one stage was hospitalised for depression, never gave up on him, but instead started making decisions for him and his brother, shutting off their TV habits and ordering them to read two books per week from the library and writing a report of what they read, and Ben started developing his intelligence, imagination and belief in himself. Despite the odds, she also moves them to better schools, as Ben eventually tops the class.
He learns to spell, explore the world of books, grows in creativity. But he also begins to mix with the wrong crowd, and as a result of his short temper, nearly killed somebody. He runs to his room and cries out to God, praying for deliverance from his temper.
The foundation his mother helped to lay in his early days would later proved to be a driving force, as with hard work and a strong desire, he gets a scholarship to college, passing the exam which enables him to enter medical school. Carson faces adversity from fellow doctors and students while working at Johns Hopkins Hospital in MD. It is here he performed a surgery as a resident without attending supervision, risking his medical career to save a man's life. At one point, he also had to deal with the loss of his twins. Eventually it came to a point where he was tasked with performing a complex surgery to separate 2 7-month old German conjoint twins, and he worked out a miracle with success. Today, he is one of the world's leading neurosurgeons, and a professor and director of paediatric neurosurgery at Johns Hopkins University Hospital.
2 traders went to a few towns in a particular country to scout for prospective business opportunities on behalf of their companies. The 1st one returned and sighed in despair, "The people here don't wear shoes! There is no point for us to waste time here, as there is no way I can sell shoes to them." The second guy came back and proclaimed, "Wow, nobody here wears shoes! Great, we have a huge market!"
"....give thanks for my shepherd, whose sharing deeply encouraged and renewed me in my walk with God. He did mention the importance behind every choices we make, and that one of the key to breakthrough in certain areas that we can see, is seeking 1st God’s kingdom and His righteousness, to lay down ourselves and put Him at the centre of what we do. Then, we see how God is able to open the floodgates of heaven, because 1st and foremost, God looks at the heart, not at your ability. As we continue to do so, we know that He will be with us always, in the things that we do. One example includes how despite his final thesis presentation scheduled the next morning, and he is only half-done with it, he made the decision not to compromise, but to sacrifice whatever little time he had left and attend the Vision and Philosophy class on that very night, and by the time he got home it was already past midnight. Nevertheless, despite the lack of time, able to see how God helped him pull through, and even provided him with the best thesis and overall top architecture student award in UTM. It definitely served as an encouragement to me as we approached the season of final exams.." Christopher Heng
"....I wanted to testify to God’s goodness over the past week or so, where I have been extremely busy with submission. Although the presentation has been postponed to Friday, but I fell sick on Monday and it became so bad even on Tuesday that I was unable to get out of bed. I felt very weak and needed to rest, and initially did not intend to go for caregroup on Wednesday despite being rostered to come up with games for this week. Nevertheless, I got reminded of a passage where God loves a cheerful giver, and I want to give Him my best. Today, I resolve to tell myself not to complain, give excuses or do things just for the sake of completing it, but in our everyday ministry and serving Him, let us truly see it as a privilege to do so. Throughout the process of preparing and leading games, gradually I experienced God’s renewal not only spiritually, but also physically. All glory belongs to Him." Jing Jing
Matthew 18:20 - For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them. Ecclesiastes 4:9 - Two are better than one, because they have good return for their work.
Where: Taman Sri Putri, Skudai When: Wednesday, 7 October 2009, 7.30pm
Synopsis: Senior Chief Ben Randall is a top legendary rescue swimmer with over 200 saves, who has been juggling his crumbling marriage and his work with the U.S. Coast Guard. When he loses his crew and best friend in a helicopter mishap, he reluctantly chose to take up the post as senior instructor at a Coast Guard training facility to recompose himself, where he encounters Jake Fischer, an arrogant candidate who happens to be a top competitive swimmer with scholarships to every Ivy League university.
Ben's unorthodox training methods turned the entire programme upside down, and egos collide as he tries to force Jake into quitting, but Jake ended up beating all his records. While complaining to his girlfriend, Jake was humbled when the local barkeeper told him about an unbeatable record, when Ben saved all the victims of a ship fire, and with one victim left and a broken winch, held the last victim by his fingertips all the way until the helicopter landed, resulting in severe hand and shoulder injuries.
Nevertheless, Ben learnt about Jake's past, that he was the driver and only survivor of a motor vehicle accident which killed his relay team, and he was searching for his place in life. After being one of the few candidates left who graduated, Jake was posted to Kodiak, Alaska to oversee protection of the Bering Sea, Randall's post. During a rescue mission, Ben experienced a flashback of the night when he lost his crew, and had to be rescued by Jake. At this point, he realises he cannot continue, and hands in his resignation letter.
As Ben remorsefully spent time handing in divorce papers to his wife, and clearing his office, he overheard the radio chatter that Jake is trapped in the hull of a sinking ship while rescuing the crew. Ben gathered his gear and rushes to the scene. He managed to rescue Jake, but as the winch jams and cable unravels, he realises that it can't hold both of them, and unstraps himself, plummeting into the sea, never to be seen again.
"What makes a legend? Is it what someone did when they were alive... or how they're remembered after they're gone? There's a legend — of a man who lives beneath the sea. He's a fisher of men. A last hope for all those who have been left behind. He is known as The Guardian. Ben Randall always said life is about making choices. In the end, by making his, he helped me make mine."
4th year medical students have to do a case write-up on a chronic illness / disability patient as part of their GP posting. So while at my private GP, I clerked and examined a boy who came in with his mum, due to poorly controlled asthma. Took down his medications, and enquired a bit about his family and stuff.. technically I'm supposed to review him again a 2nd time, and I was only at the private GP for 6 weeks, not knowing when he will come in. So in the 2 weeks leading up to the deadline I decided to give my patient's mum a call to check on how they are doing, and to request more information required in the assignment guidelines.
To my horror, the handphone number on the patient's case file was no longer in service, and my GP suggested me going over to the patient's house based on the address given, which I did, but nobody was at home (probably went out to buy food for breaking fast). Costly trip it was to go there twice(RM17 each time by taxi, return trip by bus). Since they were not around on this recent Sunday afternoon, left a note requesting them to contact me, and left. Prayed and ask God to open up a way, coz as much as possible I do not wanna make up stuff (ie cheating)..
It was an agonising wait, 7pm.. 8pm.. 9pm.. and all I've got so far is the basic skeleton of my assignment, with the next day (Monday) being the deadline. Then out of nowhere at 9.45pm I received a phone call from a source I completely did not expect. My GP called, "Gary, you remembered the asthma patient you wanted? I was about to close my clinic when his mum brought him in for an acute exacerbation. He is now on nebuliser. Would you like to talk to the mum?" All of a sudden the rest was history, did my best, and whatever marks came out from the assignment no longer mattered.
Overcoming barriers to success - where is your focus?
The fields were parched and brown from lack of rain, and the crops lay wilting from thirst. People were anxious and irritable as they searched the sky for any sign of relief. Days turned into arid weeks. No rain came.
The ministers of the local churches called for an hour of prayer on the town square the following Saturday. They requested that everyone bring an object of faith for inspiration.
At high noon on the appointed Saturday the townspeople turned out en masse, filling the square with anxious faces and hopeful hearts. The ministers were touched to see the variety of objects clutched in prayerful hands - holy books, crosses, rosaries.
When the hour ended, as if on magical command, a soft rain began to fall. Cheers swept the crowd as they held their treasured objects high in gratitude and praise. From the middle of the crowd, one faith symbol seemed to overshadow all the others: A small nine-year old child had brought an umbrella.
Laverne W. Hall From: Chicken Soup for the Christian Soul
Hi, my name is Jing Jing, and I’m currently studying architecture in UTM. As many of you may already know, architecture is well-known in UTM as a 6-year course that never sleeps. Take a walk around the campus throughout the semester, and chances are there are times when you will find the faculty's studio lights still switched on even though it’s already 3am, as students worked on their projects. Today I want to share about how God helped me breakthrough in the area of focusing on Him in overcoming my challenges.
Recently, I encountered a challenge in the form of my 1st major project. As the deadline drew closer, I don’t even have a direction for my project, no idea of what to come up with. I started getting worried and feeling lost. Therefore I prayed and asked God to give me direction, wisdom, strength and peace. I wanted to finish up my project as much as possible so that I can join the student group’s Eureka Camp. Eventually, I found an interesting topic and God gave me the concentration I have never experienced before, as well as a burning passion for my project. I keep focusing on God’s presence rather than negative feelings, worry and tiredness, His power rather than my ability, His promise rather than circumstances. As a result, peace and joy filled my heart (John 14:27– Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.).
On Friday before the camp, I intended to submit my finished project. Upon looking through my project, my lecturer asked me whether I am clear about the objectives of my project. I explained my proposal to him, and little did I expect that he would drop a bombshell by saying that my design and its objectives were already flawed right from the beginning, thus he rejected it. That meant I have to start re-doing it all over again from zero. Submission is on Monday and I’m supposed to be joining the camp later that evening! I know I can’t miss Eureka camp, because it is a camp that can change my life. The word ‘Eureka’ itself means ‘I have discovered something’, and I wouldn’t want to miss the experience of learning more about the wonderful plan He has for me (Jeremiah 29:11 – For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.).
I prayed to God to guide me and give me strength so that I won’t be tired after the camp. By faith, I uphold my project into His hand and made the decision to go for the camp. By the time we returned home from camp, it was already Saturday evening, and next day we have Sunday service. After the camp, I continued with my work and God blessed me with people to help me too. His love sustained me through the entire process. It’s not easy but His presence comforts me.
After a gruelling weekend, I finally submitted my work on Monday. To my surprise, I was the only one who successfully submitted it on time, and this time my lecturer even praised me for my good work. All this is God’s work and blessing. His grace is always sufficient for me (2 Corinthians 12:9 – But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me). He is faithful as long as I choose to focus on Him and let Him lead me.
"If we truly love people, we will desire for them far more than it is within our power to give them, and this will lead us to prayer; Intercession is a way of loving others."
-Richard J. Foster-
The Key is the Man, and one man can change the world. Hence, each and every single person is very important.
You dislike conflict, and you've been able to rise above the angst of the world.
And when things don't go your way, you know they'll blow over quickly.
Easygoing, you tend to find joy from the simple things in life.
You roll with the punches, and as a result, your life is light and cheerful.
You find it easy to adapt to most situations, and you're an open person.
With you, what you see is what you get... and people love that!
Your Personality: You're a dreamer and visionary. You believe you were put on this earth to do something great.
You in Love: You're very passionate but often too busy for love. You need a partner who sees your vision and adopts it as their own.
Your Career: You need a job that helps you make a difference. You have a bright future as a guru, politician, teacher, or musician.
You are both logical and creative. You are full of ideas.
You are so rational that you analyze everything. This drives people a little crazy!
Intelligence is important to you. You always like to be around smart people.
In fact, you're often a little short with people who don't impress you mentally.
You seem distant to some - but it's usually because you're deep in thought.
Those who understand you best are fellow Rationals.
In love, you tend to approach things with logic. You seek a compatible mate - who is also very intelligent.
At work, you tend to gravitate toward idea building careers - like programming, medicine, or academia.
With others, you are very honest and direct. People often can't take your criticism well.
As far as your looks go, you're coasting on what you were born with. You think fashion is silly.
On weekends, you spend most of your time thinking, experimenting with new ideas, or learning new things.
Said and done: Compilation of lame quotes that I can think of
Bee hoon: rotfl...multiple personality disorder. i'm guilty of that too:)
Me: guilty of what? being a bee hoon today and a kuey tiau tomorrow?
Ian Song: Have you heard my last song?
Jason: Eh, Rachel..the bible conference speaker is Pastor David Chen right? How come in Ruth's email it was written as David Chua ar?
Me: Must be the Rachel Chua factor..
Pastor David Chen: I am not guilty of anything, apart from being good-looking :p
Pastor Wilson Lim: I don't actually watch 'Desperate Housewives'. I personally believe that housewives should not be desperate.
Michael: Honestly in terms of lameness from a scale of 1 to 10, I'll give you negative 10..
*getting to know a new student during orientation*
New student: My name is Angelina..
Me: Oh, Angelina..without the 'Jolie' ar..
Rachel Chua: *speechless for a moment, then almost burst out laughing* Wah lau eh..Oi, Jason..aiyo shepherd, please look after your sheep properly lar..since when has he attain this level of lameness??
Me: So Angelina, what course are you doing ar?
Angelina: Don't want to tell you, afterwards you laugh at me again!
Me: Angelina was asking me, "Who are all this people ar? They are so nice..Jason, Jeffrey and Rachel..
Jason: Wah, I didn't know that people actually think I'm nice leh. Tonight confirm cannot sleep already..
Dimithri: Ehem..If only she had known the truth..
George Yee: What is sex with a minor? Is it something cool?
Me: Why (is your favourite colour) yellow?
Eve: Orang dulu rumah kuning punya ma... so extra patriotic a bit... make my favourite colour yellow
Me: Pisang pun warna kuning wor..Eve suka makan pisang ya?
Sarah: That's not me by the way, i'm far far prettier than that..
Rachel Teo: I will not sue you because you are my friend!
*when Chung Wei was scooping ice cream*
Me: Chung Wei, you very handsome today lar..
*when it comes to Joab's turn*
Joab: Chung Wei, you very handsome everyday..
Rachel Teo: wharpf! woof! woof! (barking sound)
Keith: Dog ar?
Shaun: *coughing*
Me: Are you alright?
Shaun: Do I look alright to you? Why do you ask?
Me: 'Cause if you are not alright then you are 'all wrong' ar?
Shaun: I'm not alright, I'm 'all left'..
Sue Ann and Joab: We need judges for the best dressed person on Superheroes Night leh.. Where to find ar?
Antonius: Oh, I know.. you can get it from the Old Testament..
*Everyone kasi belasah sama dia lolz*
Me: Ever wondered why although they have Hungry Jack's (ie Australian version of Burger King) here but they don't have 'Thirsty Jill's'?
Me: If you don't know the answer to a question, and the person asking is of Asian descent, just tell him / her "Watashiwa pu che tau"..
Yoko: Hi, I'm Yoko.. I come from Japan. My favourite place which I have been to is..
Me: Yokohama?
Me: I'm going to open a Coldmail account today.
Serene: Nei ho farn lar (you are very irritating)
Me: Why farn? Why not meen (noodles), mai fun (beehoon) or hor fun?
Me: Why is it that when you take away food, you use the word 'Ta Pau'? How come no such thing as 'Siau Pau'?
Wes: My jokes need crutches.. (ie they are lame)
Yuka: Let's pray for the chairperson of today's service.. can Wes come in front and stand here?
Wes: Why would a chairperson need to stand?
Su Wen: Sisca, where's Anna? Have you seen her?
Me: Oh, she's with the king.
Me: Anna, what's your favourite snake?
Anna: I don't like snakes! Who in the world told you I have a favourite snake?
Me: Oh, I thought your favourite snake was the anaconda.
Joke meant for CG's Japanese themed dinner
Question: What does the flower say to the bee?
Answer: Whatzup bee? (=wasabi)
Joab: JASON!!!! What have you been teaching your sheep ar??!! Deteriorate to that extent already..
Me: Cissy, how come your name is not AA, BB, DD or EE ar?
Me: Hmm.. which one is nicer ar? Sesame oil or sesa'you' oil?
Cissy: What sesa'you'oil wor?
Me: sesa'you' lar.. not referring to you lar Cissy Yu..
Cheryl: I have never gone snowboarding before.. but i would like to try one day since people say it's fun..
Me: How can you board snow? It's not like they have a platform or can take off or land like a plane or something..
Me: Eh, very cold lar.. Should have brought my jacket..
Robby: Where's your jacket?
Me: Went up the hill already..
Everyone: ????
Me: ...... to fetch a pail of water...
Dhany: Here guys, I brought some chips..
Me: You should have brought some 'dales' as well..
Xylia: In Kampung BM / Iban, 'saya' (I), is 'kame'..
Me: Kame hame ha..!
Rachel Chua: Need to ta pau food for Mr 'Hay Siu'(Master Hay) leh...
Me: Jeffrey ar? No need lar.. he eat hay enough already..
Geok Lin: Hey, can email me the stuff you typed just now ar?
Me: What's your email?
Geok Lin: Yeo_ (underscore)..
Me: .. hiapseng@hotmail.com?
Rachel Chua: Eh, Ian leaving for CG already ar to meet Pastor Ian?
Jason: Funny lar got 2 Ians.. Ian, have fun with Ian! :-)
Ian Song: Haha.. yea sure, but there is only one song..
Me: So Lionel, are you sitting for any exams today?
Lionel: Ya, marketing.
Me: Oh, so how many fresh fish and ripe tomatoes did you manage to buy?
Joab: Who wants smarties (those little round chocolates that look like M&M's)?
Me: Does it make you smarter?
Sophie: I am trying to look for Sam Tee lar, but he's busy at the moment. You have to wait for a while.
Me: Never mind. If Sam Tee is not around why not go and look for Sam Coffee?
During church setup..
Christian: Wah, speaker ini berat leh..
Me: Berat apa? Berat Pitt? :p
Serene: We need some more containers leh to 'tapau' food. Did you bring any?
Me: Nope, go and get from Brentwood Secondary College lar. There's the big container where you guys store all the church stuff..
Rachel Chua: Wah, this 'gula Melaka' very sweet leh..
Me: What gula Melaka wor? I thought we are now in Melbourne?
Question: How does the cantonese prawn laugh?
Answer: Ha ha ha
Question: How does the Hokkien prawn laugh?
Answer: Hei hei hei
Chew: There was a man who jumped down from a 10th floor building and landed into a bucket of Coke. How come he didn't die?
*Everybody scratches head*: Why ar?
Chew: Because Coke is a soft drink.
Ian Song: Hi, my name is Ian.. Song. I'm more than a song. My parents passed me this song. You can treat me as your love song. My favourite character in the bible is King Solomon because he wrote Song of Songs.
Ian: Superman and Ultraman are both flying parallel to one another. Who has the potential to fly faster?
Somebody: Ultraman?
Ian: Wrong, it's Superman.
Everybody: Why?
Ian: Ultraman normally flies with both hands, but Superman flying with one hand can switch gear.
Everybody: @#$%#%
Question: King Kong's favourite restaurant?
Answer: Rok Kong (A Chinese Chicken Rice Stall in Glen Waverley)
Question: Where is King Kong from?
Answer: Hong Kong
Question: King Kong's favourite vegetable?
Answer: Kangkung
Question: King Kong's favourite computer game?
Answer: Donkey Kong
Question: What does a dog say when it sits on sand paper?
Answer: Rough! Rough!
Ivy: Ok, we now pass the time to Gary for icebreakers.
Gary: Wait ar, I go and get some ice first..
Jason: Mary, how come so long already your chicken maryland which you ordered has not yet come?
Me: Oh, because the chicken is now in Mary Land. Right, Mary?
Mary: No, my land only got lambs.
Me: Ever wondered why there are ligaments but no such thing as liga'women's?
Ben: Let me tell you 2 lame jokes.
Me: Yea?
Ben: Lame joke, lame joke.
Ben: I went shopping at 1 Utama because I ran out of clothes.
Me: How in the world did you actually run to the extent that your clothes got left behind?
Chris: Knock knock.
Me: Who's there?
Chris: Tennis.
Me: Tennis who?
Chris: Ten is five plus five.
Anna: Why in the world is Alex saying that Min Chiee is unstable?
Me: Because she has a high centre of gravity?
Aiman: What has 4 wheels and flies?
What?
Aiman: A garbage truck.
Su Wen: What is the difference between a mosquito and a fly?
What?
Su Wen: A mosquito can fly, but a fly cannot mosquito.
To all the lun bawangs in Sarawak, do you have a twin called lun garlic?
Somebody from CF: Aiya, yesterday Manchester Utd lost to Roma..
Me: Never mind, you go and tell Alex Ferguson that in the 2nd leg, you will be found.
There is a guy in CF called Eric Sim.. Ok, you got Eric Sim, you got Christopher Sim, what's next? Osim?
Question: Why is the butter poor?
Answer: Because it is not kaya
Chien Aun: Knock knock.
Me: Who's there?
Chien Aun: Lame.
Me: Lame who?
Chien Aun: Lame joke.
Me: How in the world are you going to enter the girls' toilet?
Faheem: Easy. I'll just dress like you.
Christina: Li-Mae says hi.
Me: Tell her I said "Bye".
Christina: She wants Tambun biscuits.
Me: Tambun don't have lar.. baboon maybe got lar.. What are you doing?
Christina: Syndicate.
Me: Which one? Petaling Street?
Question: How do you load 500 Pikachu into a train?
Answer: You pokemon (poke 'em on)
Brian: Why do we have to go to bed?
Me: Because the bed does not come to us!
Later, when told another friend
Simon: (asking everybody)Then tell me why do we have to eat food?
Me: Coz the food won't eat us?
Joseph: *sweat* Then u might as well say why do we have to pee in da toilet? Coz da toilet won't pee on us?
Question: Why is 6 afraid of 7?
Answer: Because 7 8 (ate) 9
Question: Why is it not difficult for fortune tellers to look for clothes of suitable sizes?
Answer: Because they are all mediums
Question: What happens when you eat Blackberry?
Answer: You get Bluetooth.
Question: Can you name a place where a fish is likely to be most 'powerless'?
Answer: Ikano Power Centre
Wei Wen: Ever noticed that the Petronas Twin Towers look like 2 erect 'jagung' (corn)? With a toothpick in da middle..
Me: You know what message they are trying to send out? 'Balik kampung tanam jagung.'
Wei Wen: If you were a medieval noble, I will call you Gary the Happy.
A friend: Gary, you got license ar? (to drive)
Me: Got.. TV license.
Li Wen: Yo! Apa khabar?
Me: Suratkhabar.
Wei Wen: You know, when we were kids, a few of us used to make fun of our tuition teacher by asking him, "Sir, do you go to Confucius school?" He said "No, why?" "Coz you always confuse us lar, Sir."
